Hospital Happenings

I told them that I must have smoked laced weed. That someone must have been putting something in my coffee. I felt drugged. I was manic, but that’s how it feels. My blood tests came back negative for everything besides a small amount of THC (I won’t lie to y’all and say I’m an angel). I’m sure that that news surprised at least one county cop, who my mother reports as having said that the truck “reeked” like alcohol. I try not to drink, and had not had a lick of liquor on the day of the incident.

They asked so many questions. And I asked for water a lot of times. They refused to let my mother see me, who might have been able to connect with me in a meaningful way, in a way that may have snapped me out of my delusions. But she spoke with a loud voice and, being extremely concerned, acted boisterous. A police officer asked her to leave at one point.

Critical decisions were made in those first minutes of my involvement with the hospital and DCFS. I was suffering from a rare condition, one that affects about 1-2 women out of 1,000 births, according to the MGH Center for Women’s Mental Health, yet they decided to take my children into their care. My husband, who arrived later, was not given custody because of his “work schedule.” I hope you can read between the lines here.

As for giving the children to other family members, they decided not to – probably basing their decisions off delusions I reported to them involving family members. Because I was very paranoid about everyone around me and had many delusions involving those close to me. Mistrusting those around you is a common theme I found in my research of postpartum psychosis. But they didn’t have to take my delusions as the word of god.

Now my children are trying to adapt to another home, are learning their ABC’s without me, and struggling to crawl in a daycare center.

So am I an alligator? Not just yet.

Published by

Alexandra A

I'm just a skinny girl with a lot of hair and a couple of stories. I'm 26, married, and have two very active, sparkly-eyed babies. My mother lives with me so I've got my best ally and source of wisdom here, too. Everything I do is for my family. We like to garden, paint, start projects, read, and watch a little bit of Netflix. I'm working on my cooking, parenting with patience, and learning how to love life where I'm at. Though I've abandoned my degree three times in two different states (yes, I said three times), I have listened and watched and picked up a couple of tips. Most of what I write is entirely non-fictional because I let life spin the tales. I'm ready to learn more and am excited to meet others on the same path. This is to serve as a record of what I've done. All pictures have been taken by me, unless otherwise credited.

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